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Monday, December 19, 2011

{Mindful Holiday}

December 19, 2011

I'm not shitting you...I went Christmas shopping with 40 Million other people today and my feet feel like I just finished a Cardio Circuit class with Tonia (the most badass trainer at the BL Resort in Malibu). So sore. But I love spending money more than I love to eat. And that's a lot.

Usually, I associate Christmas shopping with eating a huge meal, Starbucks x2, and some kind of a sweet treat like a pound of See's  while out and about, but not today. And not yesterday either. Or the day before that. Things have changed.

Thursday night I attended my work's holiday party. Two words: OPEN BAR. Normally, I would have gone with full intention of intoxication, dance like a hot mess all night, and wake up the next morning wishing I owned a gun. Parties like Thursday would have normally involved several (at least 5, closer to 10 drinks...easily 2 days worth of calories) double Grey Goose on the rocks with a lime and as much 'drunk' food (Jack n the Box tacos) I could consume. Let me make sure you understand a night just described has been far and few between since I turned 30 as it feels like I am near death the next morning, but nonetheless, I can party. The holiday fest was my first 'test', if you will, of my mindfulness. I drank club soda with lime all night and ate before I went so I avoided the food altogether. I mingled, danced and stayed until it was over. It wasn't hard. In fact, I was so grateful that I avoided my usual day-after-vodka-shits that I decided to keep alcohol out a little longer.

Saturday was the ever-epic Ryan Family Christmas. This event is one the entire family looks forward to. Cara and I are blessed with many aunts, uncles, cousins and their kids and our grandparents. Each year this momentous occasion has an enormous spread of food and alcohol to enjoy with the company. I can recall many excessively fantastic Ryan Fam Christmas' which makes me feel all warm...and sloshed inside. (Love my Ryan's) Cara and I did plan ahead. We talked about the food options before and knew what we could choose from. My ever-so-supportive Uncle Matt made Cara and I our very own pasta sauce over spaghetti squash and it was de-effin-licious. His response when I told him he shouldn't have was that the only way we would find success was if our family was on board. And that could not be more true. I was prepared to eat my weekly 10% if I had to, but because of my family, I left there well under my planned calorie intake for the night.

And then today. I love eating and I love eating and shopping. I was even thinking about making today my 10% since I was so successful last night. Food while shopping is a gift sent from heaven. The reason that I have made it through last minute Christmas shopping nightmares every year...EXCEPT THIS YEAR.

I have felt completely mindful since I got home. Not perfect (I ate a couple more Pop Chips than I should have tonight), but pretty damn good. I remind myself everyday that only I can change my life and I believe in the process. I believe that being mindful about what I eat, how I move and the way I think about things will change my life. This isn't a diet. There's no points, shakes, food restrictions or deprivation. This is simply a healthy lifestyle. "Eat less. Move more" -Jillian Michaels. So do it. Be mindful of every choice. Even if you make the wrong choice, be mindful of it. You are worth it.
Brief update: I tried to weigh in today and the battery in my scale died. I took it as a sign and didn't stress out about it. I will get a scale this week and update my weight loss. I am still not drinking coffee, Diet Coke, alcohol or butter.

Life is good.

Shout outs:

Meghan Ryan Philips...thank you for reminding us that people are reading our words in these blog posts. I am inspired at the idea that I might possibly help someone else like me.

Kelly Ryan McCrary...I effin LOVE YOU.

To Heather A....your strength, class, and determination inspires me. You deserve the greatest of everything in life.

To our blog followers, THANK YOU so much for reading our blog and sharing your own thoughts and stories. I'm just an overweight girl on a really long journey to save my life and I want to tell my story to keep myself accountable and motivated. I would really love to hear any and all tips you may have and I will share mine.

Tips of the day:

I am completely obsessed with Lundberg Brown Rice Cakes with Skippy Natural No Stir Peanut Butter. Ob. Sessed.

Pop Chips, oh how I love thee...

I made spinach tonight. Like fresh-from-a-bag spinach. First time ever. It was great.

I've been taking Melatonin for sleep and it seems to be really helping.

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