Day 17 & 18/21

FEEL GOOD!
I need to be honest. The last few days I have been forcing myself to think about my coantainers. Thinking I am making life fit into my containers and still doing my best to stay on track even with a crazy week and only 36 hours to get ready for a week away. I am on track. And I needed to make sure this is a place to share just how good I feel when I eat right. I just saw a picture of myself and said "WOW, I don't look as FAT as I feel." Remember all that talk about how we speak life or death over ourselves....yeah I said that and had to pause...I feel amazing right now.I have been eating right and looking at how to incorporate my workouts and stay "on track" even with vacation right here.

So it comes back to this, why don't I share it MORE. Why am I not inviting everyone to do this with me? I feel like I have been a lier for a while. But now as I hit day 18 and feel this good about myself, I am going to plug it.

If you have ever thought about doing this, or you have it and need a partner or a group to hold you accountable WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? There will never be a perfect time.

Here is what I want you to think about:

*Awesome portion control container system, makes nutrition EASY
*Workouts that are suitable for all fitness levels and you don't have to leave your house!
*Group and 1:1 accountability
*FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF.

Join Me.....here is the link. We all commit to it for 30 days.

Day 16/21: Take the TIME

WEEK. WEAKNESS.

Time gets away from me. I am not sure if I am just not paying attention to it or if I allow it to consume me most of the time.

Day 14. 15 . and 16 I worked twelve hour shifts. I have always struggled with these shifts. I love them because I only have to do 2 a week  and the rest of the week I can focus on myself and my TIME. But I also feel like even with 12 hour shifts I should be getting a work out in. Through exhaustion and doubt I usually don't. A good friend and my current Coach, pushing me through this round of 21 Day Fix, has had many amazing fitness experiences. One of which was long distance cycling. And the best tidbit of knowledge she could share was to just get over the fact that I want to workout on a 12. If I can, sure go ahead, but your body is taxed and tired and don't expect the best workout of your life. Thank you Dana, I am forgiving myself for the anger and frustration I have caused.

Aside from workouts....nutrition is my number one goal right now. I use my app religiously, but I am also incredibly amazed at the power of food preparation. I have to make time for it. I have to write it out. I have to know what I have on hand when I am faced with TIME restraints. With that said time to jump off, get ready for the day and make this one AMAZING.

Day 14/21

How is week 2 already DONE?

Here are my numbers:

Weight: 217.3 (-5.3 lbs)
Lost 2.5 inches

Went OFF: I ate pizza yesterday and I was totally OK with it.

I need to make sure I am checking in here. I committed to this blog, because I know I need it as much as someone else might. WEEK 3....here we go.

Day(s) 11 &12/21: Promise?

I ONLY work 2 days a week. Two 12 hour shifts, sometimes in a row, sometimes days apart. But still it is only 2 days. When I became a Coach it was mostly because I needed to make enough money to cover our kids private school tuition. I do that. I hit that goal, but really I saw Coaching as a way to stay consistent on my workouts and stay focused on the journey. If I "worked" more, I would have to use my time differently. I sometimes tell people, I started as a Coach for selfish reasons, little did I know, my WHOLE world would change.

This past Tuesday, I worked  a half shift, only 6 hours and I set my alarm and was up and at it at 4:30am. I was committed to my promise. I wanted to make sure I did the 30 minute workouts EVERYDAY this week. I wanted to see what this looked like working the plan BY THE BOOK. Let's talk about that for a minute. I honestly, can say that is when I feel like I have failed most and decide I can't finish. I missed my active recovery pilates workout yesterday. Sleep seemed more important after waking 3x in the night with my asthmatic kiddo, let's be honest....I got out of bed 3x but was awake all night listening to him struggle. An dafter a 12+ hour day (tack on commute 45 minutes both ways) I was spent. And well same goes with today. I am exhausted and sleep will most likely elude me tonight as I am over tired. I think about REAL PEOPLE, REAL 9 to 5ers. Most likely, you....and as I think about how difficult this is I am reminded that we have to be honest. We have to be realistic and set expectations that we can keep.

My most trusted advisor, Dani Johnson teaches "Under promise, over deliver." What do you KNOW you can commit to? Promise to do that and then when you go over by a day you over deliver and can feel personally successful. Example: I know I can commit to 4 workouts per week.  And when I get that 5th one in, I am feeling like I did more and feel better about the outcome. This week I promised 7 workouts and I did 4. I feel like I failed. But it is recognizing what I know I can do that I am starting to get over that failure feeling and instead LEARN the lesson.

Day 11: at work drank water, ate all my containers.
Day 12: at work drank water, ate all my containers.
Tomorrow: WORTH FIGHTING FOR 5k, swimming and meal prep (I will work 33 hours between Sunday and Tuesday!)

Day 10/21: GO. DO. BE.

Feeling like I got my MOJO back, a little. I think I shared this yesterday, but I am recognizing that I am in a very fragile place. I can slip up at any moment and with that I have to be completely aware of my surroundings, my emotions, and my food. I use the 21 Day Fix App to track my containers, which I am using as religiously as I used to count calories almost 5 years ago.

FIVE YEARS AGO?! How is it that I have been on this journey for almost 5 years? And I am talking about tools I used a long time ago and here I am still in the same place, different tools. Misha (IG: @mamamishafitness) and I got together today. We are preparing for the Ultimate Reset at the end of the month, we will save that for another post. But today she said something that hit home, because ultimately it is something I am also thinking....what is the end goal in doing this? Why do we need to be trying new tools, checking out new workouts, completely resetting the pH of our bodies, thinking about our next workout and when we will drink Shakeology tomorrow. And although I have struggled with the WHY so many times and I think about who I am doing this for...it clicked when I heard her say that she has no idea what her end goal is.

Dear Cara,

There is no END. There will never be a day that we don't think about our health and wellness and fitness. This has become your passion, because this is LIFE. As soon as you stop thinking about it, it will lose its importance. It is not about a diet or the number on the scale it is about being healthy and strong. And sometimes that might include pizza and donuts, but when you really stop to think about how important your physical health and mental wellbeing are, it becomes less of a goal and more of a vision. What does this life mean to you and what do you want it to look like? Go. Do and Be that.

Love,
Me

Tomorrow: DRINK WATER LIKE IT IS YOUR MOTHER FUCKING JOB. Shakeology for breakfast and dinner. 4:25am wake up!!! 

Day 9/21: FOCUS

I learned this lesson in February of 2012. Eleven weeks into my journey as I was starting to see results, I started to change my mindset. I started to wake up and everyday would say, "I can feel myself losing weight. I can feel myself getting lighter." I truly believe with every ounce of me that I was changing. And guess what....I was. 

I have been recommitting myself to this journey, not because I need to look a certain way, but because I know exactly what it felt like to visualize who and where I wanted to be and I was not stopping until I did. I feel amazing right now. My vision of how this journey will go is taking over....SHIT I got up at 4:25am today to WORKOUT. Do you know how many times in the last 2 years I have set the alarm and then snoozed it for 40 minutes. I didn't have the desire. I didn't have the vision of who I was anymore. Or the WHY? I have been struggling with that too. I started doing this because I didn't want to gain the weight back, selfish reasons but valid. I now LOVE this, not because of the accountability, but because it is WAY bigger than that. 

If you want something different, you've got to do something different. It rings true again and again. We have so much power with how we speak to ourselves. We can speak life or death. When we speak negatively to ourselves silently in the mirror or even under our breath as we pull on our pants, we have the power to believe or to shoot down. When you want more of something I keep saying do more of that....this applies to everything. So choose wisely, will it be positive or negative. 

I ate on point today. I went over by 1 yellow, 1 blue and 1/2 a fruit. I also got up at 4:25am.....

Tomorrow: water, lower fix and 1 mi run, plan my Ultimate Reset.

Day 8/21: Transparency

TODAY FEELS GOOD. 

No other way to talk about it. I was on track. I even saved containers to enjoy homemade strawberry shortcake with the boys for dessert. 

It is all a mindset. I have said mind over matter a million times before. I am now reminding myself of everything I have ever pulled from my own tool kit to share with someone else. I know whats right and whats wrong, it all starts with the decision to make a change. It all has to do with the VISION. I can set the goal, but it might just sit there and I might change my path to it a million and a half times. What keeps me from getting there is the vision. If there is no vision there is no way. 

My mentor shared a video today, it has to do with EVERY aspect of life. And it talked on this very thing. There is no way that I will have you join me if I am not real about how hard this process is. If I was perfect, if I lost 100 lbs and kept it off with out the battle, no one would do this with me. Because we all know that life happens. That brings me to the transparency. I have to start here, where I am at and have a vision and every single day I have to get up and do it. Prosper where you are planted, and that is what I hope to do with every single person that does this with me. 

When you can look in the mirror and admit that you are not giving 120%, then you can make change. It is YOU vs YOU. You need to ask why you aren't giving 120%, get rid of the excuses. What did you NOT do. I started to think about the saying, "Be the person, you want to be." GUT check, want to know what that really means? LOVE MORE, give more, be kind, EAT RIGHT, TRAIN HARDER, sweat, clean up after yourself, put shit away right away, GIVE MORE. 

Transparency means that I am going to share the fact that I messed up. And I had excuses, SHIT I still do. I was more concerned about the people I was helping...BULLSHIT. I would have done more if that statement was true. So I called bullshit on myself, recognizing that I was not doing the basics and now I am back to mastering the basics. Day 8 was successful and I feel great. 

If you have some time, watch this...EVERYDAY. 

Day 7/21: Week in Review

I try to do this every week, as I have gotten further and further away from caring abut my own journey I have not been doing it. So I will do this every Sunday, here to share my thoughts about the week and my progress, both scale and non-scale. Let's review:

Monday (1) Ate on plan, but skipped a few containers. Turbo Fire HIIT 20
Tuesday (2) Ate all my containers. Upper Fix
Wednesday (3) Containers were all over the place, not enough protein or veggies and went over on fruits and carbs. No Workout
Thursday (4) Containers were on point. Turbo Fire HIIT 25
Friday (5) Ate out 2x, went over by 2 on carbs. Playground workout 3 rounds of squats, lunges, and an abs series
Saturday (6) Almost all containers accounted for. Said no to pizza and cake at a kid party! Dirty 30.
Sunday (7) Containers went great. I might have had 2 blues. but I am OK with that. I did not get to my yoga workout. Could I have done it, YES. Could I still do it, YES. Will I, maybe.

Results: I lost 2 lbs. this week.

My Business Coach, posted tonight about getting REAL. Talking about consistency and how when you want something bad enough you want it as badly as you want to breathe. And when you want it that bad NOTHING...NOTHING should stand in your way. A lot of my excuses are around time, I just don't use it right. And then I am reminded that that is way more precious than money. So as I DELETE Candy Fucking Crush from my phone I am committed to time better spent. As I write out my workouts for the whole week, I give them a time slot in my schedule, even on the days I will work 12 hours, I am committing to being CONSISTENT and spending my time better. I am my top priority. If I don't take care of me how on earth can I take care of anyone else.

WEEK TWO LETS DO THIS. 

Day 6/21: The Blame Game

I have been working closely with a friend and Coach. I always say the right people come into our lives at the right time. Sometimes not sure why and then the reason is clear. Right now I am going through all the reasons for my weight gain. Looking...BLAMING...everything. Travel and celebrations, the rewards cruise that this amazing business sent me on back in March, stress, emotion, illness, hormones, the Biggest Loser study about weight loss effects on metabolism. You name it I want to find a reason to say, "Yep, that has got to be it."

EXCUSES ARE WELL PLANNED LIES. 

So let's come clean....

I have not been eating right and I have not been working out. There I said it. I have not been doing it. That is why. There is nothing else that is causing it. I know exactly WHY.

And so these last six days I refocused on nutrition and started to say that would be my only focus, no workouts...but I am trying to follow the 21 Day Fix plan EXACTLY (because it works) and that means 30 minutes every single day.

Today, I pushed play. And I will every single day. That will be part of my check in here.

Tomorrow: Meal prep, WATER, Yoga Fix 

Day 5/21 VALUE

I am a morning late on yesterdays post. Here is why. I want to move through my 21 days with honesty and with accountability, but I also want to provide VALUE to anyone following my journey. I was so focused on helping so many people, I know what I am doing, I can tell anyone and everyone how to do this plan. How to follow it successfully and the top tips to make this work. I just haven't been doing it.

Until now...day 5. First official, day of summer for my kiddos. I wanted to enjoy the sunshine with a trip to the northbay to swim, unfortunately the youngest is having asthma issues and I was not sure that we should go too far. So we stuck around the city and made fun happen here. But it meant that we were treated out to lunch with my dad. I have this tip I use when going out, I will share it here:

Look at the menu, pick the best healthiest thing for you, then close the menu and do not look at it again. When we pick it back up and start reading all the things on the menu again, we typically change our mind to something that is not good for us or not as good as that first thing. 

So I did that yesterday. We were at an amazing burger spot where I typically will get fried veggies with ranch and a burger or a veggie sandwich that has 3 slices of bread because it is so stacked. I looked at the menu knowing I would have a salad and I found that their signature salad was listed at the top and it said SMALLER SIZE. I went with that with grilled chicken and sweet potato fries to share! IT WAS PERFECT AND FIT ALL MY CONTAINERS!!! (I did not bring them with me, but I have practiced at home to be able to know what I should be eating that is portion control appropriate)
I left feeling satisfied and happy! WIN.

Eating out does not have to be terrifying when we are being mindful of our eating. Although I would like to do it less and have more control of my food, I felt like this was the perfect lesson.

OK aside from that, I just have not felt like working out. I am not inspired by any thing right now to get my butt moving, I am doing the minimum. Yesterday afternoon I had the opportunity to do a video chat with my friend, Coach-mate, and a serious inspiration when it comes to doing this program right. Misha from IG: @mamamishafitness (go follow her!)  has stayed consistent for 1 WHOLE year using the container system and having a program to move into as soon as she finishes the one before. She asked me what I was doing for my fitness. The container eating system works with ANY workout plan. You can be a gym rat and use this container system and see success or you can do the 21 Day Fix in its entirety with the container system and provided workouts and be incredibly successful.

So as she says this to me I recognize that I want to follow this plan exactly, that means containers and workouts. So here I go pushing play on the 21 Day Fix workouts. EVERYDAY. Thank you, Misha!!

#CoachAndBeCoached

Day 4/21: Peanut Butter

It is so good. WHY? Why does peanut butter have to be so good?
Everything in moderation, if it fits your container count for the day....right?!

So I just ate 3 small peanut better cookies. I didn't need the cookies and I did not want the cookies, but they were there. And I ate them. I stopped half way through the first cookie and said NOPE, but then hmmmm...somehow I ate THREE!!! This right here is what happens to me. I think about it and I still do it. It is all in the action, which I have been sharing a lot about. So why was the action to continue even when I thought I shouldn't....its like complete opposite of what I am trying to learn and do. I want to speak life over everything I do, positive affirmations, positive thinking, no negative allowed. And yet, I think STOP and I don't.

With that said, I am going to start sharing my food and fitness journal here, it helps me to write it out, and think about where I need to improve my eating. The afternoons are the hardest, hence the early post for today...keep my mind out of the kitchen and on track:

B: Shakeology with blueberries and spinach (I blend it all together and can't taste the spinach!!)
S: 2 hardboiled eggs and a banana
WO: 20 minute HIIT workout from Turbo Fire
L: shrimp, black beans and peppers and 8 tortilla chips and a 1/4 smashed avocado (yep I counted!)
S: rice cake with 5 teaspoons peanut butter....and THEN 3 peanut butter cookies
D: 2C spaghetti squash, 1C homemade turkey marinara and 2 turkey meatballs and a small salad

I am working on my 3rd-32 oz water for the day and will try to have one more. Hot tea before bed.

NO COOKIES TOMORROW.

Day 3/21

DAY ONE....AGAIN.

I love that I have a few people reading this that I would never expect, and when they ask me how day one is going, I smile and thank them. Being reminded that I am doing this publicly is helping. I know I have people in my corner and watching my back. I give FULL permission to people I know to gut check me, ask me how I am doing and offering me the veggie tray instead of the chip bag.

So what am I doing as I go through these 21 days?
I am following a program I believe in 100%, I see success, I have lived the success again and again, but I have not been following it for the last 8 months. And I am living the consequences of that. See I preach it, I know it works, but I have not been doing it myself. I have to forgive myself for not doing as I said I would. Because we all know ACTIONS speak louder than words.

So here I am making change and doing it the way I know is best. I am taking action for the bad eating I have done, more so recently. 21 Day Fix is a program that teaches balanced nutrition with correct portion control by providing a meal plan and containers to measure the amount of each food. It is so simple. And I have recommitted to my containers. That is my first step. So I am taking the time to apologize to myself, accept that I messed up and move forward in the right direction. It also feels so good to be kicking off June like this, a refreshed focus, a clear mind and a set goal. 

Every day has to be day one. The excitement, the energy, the determination to do my very best every single day. I am not looking to drag anyone into this with me, you have to be ready, clearly I wasn't the last few months, but I am now. If you want something different you have to do something different. If you want something new and want to walk this journey with me you can grab your tools right here and we can stay accountable together. 

Goal for tomorrow: Plan food TODAY, pack snacks, DRINK ALL THE WATER.

Day 2/21

"Knowing the facts is easy. Knowing how to act based on the facts is difficult."
-Han Feizi

Day 2 of 21.

It is day two. It was a success.

I am treating everyday like DAY ONE. The energy and the focus. Every step needs to be in the right direction. It is not easy, I don't want it to be. Because it is in the struggle that I find my true north, the path I need to stay the course.

Things to remember:

-Everyone has shit.
-We might impress people with our strengths, but we connect with people through our weakness.

Let's Get Real

I am gaining weight..... not just a few pounds. I have packed on 40 lbs and I need to be real and honest about how that is making me feel. My lowest weight was 190 and it remains my goal weight. Last summer and until December I was only about 20 lbs away from that. Now I am 40. This is the cycle that most people who have weight issues fall into. We fall into this I need to lose 5 lbs and then it turns into 40.

I am going to share my own struggle, but my hope is that someone can relate. It is in sharing our story and struggle that we can have those "ME TOO" moments that connect us. Here is what I attribute to my weight gain:

-complaceny
-allowing a small bump in routine to throw it all off
-"one bad meal, means a bad day"
-"I will refocus on Monday." AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN
- I don't feel good
- I have to work (2 DAYS A WEEK)
- procrastination; sometimes later becomes never

Excuses are well planned lies. Let's be honest.
So here I am feeling like a busted can of biscuits, reminding myself that I need to be kind to myself, but also GETTING PISSED OFF. I know what I did, I know what I am doing, heck even as I am stuffing my face with a million Trader Joes peanut butter pretzels, the perfect combination of sugar and salt, I am messaging my clients about their goals and meal plans.....I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO and I AM NOT DOING IT!

So the question has to be asked, do I even know WHY I have this issue? And then I pour myself into personal development and I pray about it and I find my answer, my life is so full, my stomach doesn't have to be. See I have an eating disorder, that most people don't think exists, I am an Overeater and I eat when I am not hungry and when I am full and I will sometimes eat until I am physically sick. I thought I had a good handle on this until recently. And now I have been seeing it happen almost daily. I eat when I am happy, sad, stressed, board, and FULL. It is affecting my workouts because I am tired, sluggisha nd well, I don't feel good about who I am.

I have to share this and be vulnerable, because that is what Phat Chances is built on...acountability to do what I said I would. I will be sharing what I do over the next 21 days. Thisis my journal of sorts to myself and to anyone who needs the same kind of help. I am not a professional but I am a person and there have been so many times that I speak with my clients (who really are my Coaches, because they help me more than they will ever know) and we both stop to say "ME TOO".

So here we are DAY ONE, back to BASICS:

-21 Day Fix Eating Plan
-21 Day Fix WORKOUTS
-Accountability here and in my online focus group
-and Shakeology EVERYDAY

SW: 231.9 I hope you will stick around to see how it goes.