My goal this year is to lose 100 pounds. Plain and not so simple. I see my weight loss journey from 2 extremely different sides. Plain: It is a day to day task. Mindful awareness of my food choices and calorie intake and to sweat during a workout for at least 2 hours a day 6 days a week. Very easy when you just write it out. Eat less. Move more. Easy. However….not simple: the other part of me sees it as F’in impossible and I’m not sure it’s actually going to happen. One hundred pounds isn’t an easy goal. It’s 100 freakin pounds. Have you held 100 pounds recently? A small horse weighs 100 pounds. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to carry a baby horse around all day anymore. I knew this weight loss journey was going to be different the first day I woke up at the Biggest Loser Resort. In order, to succeed on this journey, I recognize that I need help. I may have put the weight on all by myself, but to get it off, I need support, tools and direction. In my last blog “Feel Proud”, I posted that I signed up for my first personal training appointment. Well, I am several sessions in and it is the most significant part of my journey right now. I was terrified to sign up, let alone go to my first appointment. I am being trained by the one and only Michael Friedman, Jennifer Rumple’s (BL12) trainer. Every workout with him is like no other workout I have ever done and has me aching before the end of the day. He pushes me, sees me just as a girl trying to save her life. There is no judgment. He structures our 50 minutes so that I leave sweating, nauseous and shaky. It’s the best decision I have made for myself in my entire life. Having a personal trainer holds me accountable. It’s not just my time I have to consider. Michael is in demand and chooses me as a client. I can’t let him down. But more than that, I can’t let myself down. I arrive at the workouts dreading what he has planned on his clipboard, but I leave proud of myself and almost down 1000 calories for the day. I feel myself getting stronger, but the workouts are hard. I tweeted today: “Death by personal trainer” and Michael replied “Life by personal trainer”. He is right. I have made the choice. I choose life. (Even if I feel like death during the workout). I can’t thank Michael enough for believing in me and giving me the time and tools I need to save my life.
Update: I am still eating 1400 calories a day. And I shut up and sweat 6 days a week. I lost 5 pounds last week. I live in my workout clothes and drink tons of water. If you are reading this and are in a different place, please know it is not easy and I don’t ever want anyone to think I don’t struggle with it. I fear everyday that something will put me over the edge that takes me back to my sad, miserable life. Know that I am trying my best to keep myself on this journey and if you are having trouble, know that tomorrow is a new day. I hate when people say “if I can do this, you can do this”. SHUT UP! We all have our own journeys and everyone feels differently about it. However, I will remind you that not so long ago…I was ready to just allow myself to die young. It doesn’t get much worse than that. I have made changes in my life because I refuse to allow anything, let alone my weight to stop me from living the life I want. Nothing tells me what to do. Make the change. Believe in yourself.
Heather Acheson…by BLR boo…thank you for being in my life and allowing me to be in yours. Seeing you for dinner (and 10%) reminded me of how lucky I feel to have had my Biggest Loser Resort experience. It has changed my life. You are such an inspiration to me and I can’t wait to get to where you are. So strong. So fit. So gorgeous. I admire you and learn from you. When tempted, pour beer on it. Thank you.
Teri Parry (yes, that is her married name)…I have felt such guilt for not reconnecting with you. You are one of my dearest friends and I have always felt such support from you. Seeing you the other night was something I really needed. Thank you for forgiving me and loving me so unconditionally. I adore you and vow to always keep you close.
Nan…(aka Monica)…thank you for being so patient with me the last several weeks. I am not quite sure how I would do this without you. In your honor I quote: “A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind”-Yoda
When you know you can’t get a good workout in, make changes to allow yourself a few more calories burned. I run up the stairs to my house every day. I park further away. I try to stand instead of always sit. The small things count.
The best 10% is with friends. I eat 1 meal a week that is a treat. Nothing crazy, but I realized that I haven’t really used many 10%’s and last week, Cara and I met Heather for dinner and I enjoyed my 10% so much more. Food will always be a social part of my life. I don’t want to fear it, but rather embrace it and enjoy it. Dinner with Heather was such a treat.
Book an appointment with a personal trainer.
Stop carrying your horse.
|We love Rob and Big and their real life Mini Horse.|