By CaraThis post has been in the makings for a while. I recently was laid off from a part time job, I have another job, but I had a lot of work to complete before I turned in my keys. I have been wanting to share my experience on this journey and being a mom at the same time. I know that there are plenty of moms out there that need some perspective from a "loser" mom. "Loser" as in losing weight and being a mom at the same time. I like to think I am a good mom, there are times maybe even I think I could do a better job, but as long as they are warm, fed and have happy faces, I am doing OK.
A little over one year ago
I looked like this. I weighed 308 lbs after having Sylas
(son #2 in the right picture).
I wore a size 22 and was happy. I honestly thought that I was doing all I could, by walking to the playground and taking the boys out. But I was also eating enough for 4 people at EVERY meal.
Just one week after this birthday party photo with Syals was taken, my sister Brianne and I began our journey with our 2 week stay at the Biggest Loser Resort in Malibu. At the start of this journey in November 2011, at 280 lbs I accepted the fact that deep down I was not happy. I wanted to be the track athlete that I was in high school I wanted to have something in my life that I could turn to when I needed to de-stress. Working out is a natural anti-depressant. As a mom I have happily accepted that there are 2 lives that must be placed before my own. Having children means that you are bathing, feeding and teaching (among a MILLION other things) little lives that need to be shaped into positive and happy grown men (or women). There are times that this is the most stressful job ever, just thinking about the fact that 2 people will walk this Earth based on what I teach them.......STRESSSS.
In the last 4 years that I have been teaching my babies to now be children I had enormous amounts of guilt. Guilt to leave them even with family members to get "ME" time. I had guilt about leaving them in the gym day care because they are my responsibility and I shouldn't pawn them off to some stranger while I am just in the other room sweating. EXCUSES. I have spent the last 15 months teaching myself that it is ok, that they are ok. Whether they are home with a family member or in the gym day care they are having fun, everyone is happy and I am happy too. This guilt still gets to me, but I realize that if I am going to be a better mom we have to have this time.
I have also found some great opportunities to sneak workouts in. While they eat breakfast I do a 20-25 minute cardio video or I get them set with a few activities or ipad games and I sneak downstairs for a 20 minute spin on my stationary bike. I also do get one training session in per week with a trainer and a spin class. They are either with me at the gym in daycare or if my younger sister is off she comes by and I take off. Sometimes with all that a day entails with kids I find that I am getting a workout in at 9:00pm. They are in bed and I am infront of the TV with Turbo Fire for 40-50 minutes, or on the bike. There are days when I reach the end of the day and am too exhausted to workout, as long as I get 4 workouts in per week I reach my goal. My husband Ryan has lost 60 lbs and we get at least one "date" a week at BOOT CAMP. In the end it also comes down to food. I need to make sure that my food is just right. Since starting this journey we finally have our oldest son eating spinach (hidden in whole wheat grilled cheese or in homemade pizza). We ahve made significant changes in food and I am only eating single portions, measured out and weighed.
This is a lifestyle change that I will hold onto for life. And because I am teaching my sons to be healthy young men, they are following my example and we get outside biking or playing for at least one hour each day. I am happy to say that most days work, but I will be honest its not everyday. Growing kids is hard work, but it is amazing and fun. There is a balance and although flexibility is key to making this work, it can be done.
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